Homework 02/03: essay " 50 years ago and now"

2016-02-15 · 첨삭 강사 Jeny

학생이 쓴 원문

Friend Jeny. Already Friday! Although it is very busy, I am [Name] because tomorrow is weekend. =BODY= I am sorry that I don't understand your question well. I will write the difference from now and 50 years ago. About family: 1) Change of nuclear family from big family. In the past, One household lived with many family together, like parent, children and grandparent. But now most of household is living with 2~4 families. 2) late marriage In the result of increasing women's job, Many women don't rely on marriage. About society: 1) change of ideology Global has been changing into capitalism from ideology, Democracy or Communism. 2) internet development We are able to find, learn and do what i want, anywhere, anytime and anything with internet.

강사 첨삭

Hello Oh, 

Nice way of you to explain your opinion.
Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. The ability to learn new things is a step forward to aim high and reach for your goals.

T. Jeny


Friend Jeny.

>>correct
Already Friday!

>>It\'s Friday already!
Although it is very busy, I am [Name] because tomorrow is weekend.
>>Though, I am busy, it\'s okay because it\'s weekend tomorrow.
=BODY=
I am sorry that I don\'t understand your question well.

>>I am sorry that I didn\'t understand your question well.
I will write the difference from now and 50 years ago.

>>I will write the difference 50 years ago and from today.

About family:
1) Change of nuclear family from big family.

>>correct
In the past, One household lived with many family together, like parent, children and grandparent.

>>In the past, a household usually lives with family members, like the parents, children and grandparents.

But now most of household is living with 2~4 families.

>>But now, most household lives with 2 to 4 family members.
2) late marriage

>>correct
In the result of increasing women\'s job, Many women don\'t rely on marriage.
>>With the increase of working women, they don\'t rely on marriage anymore.
About society:
1) change of ideology

>>Change in ideology.
Global has been changing into capitalism from ideology, Democracy or Communism.

>>The world has been changing to capitalism from ideology, democracy or communism.
2) internet development

>>correct
We are able to find, learn and do what i want, anywhere, anytime and anything with internet.

>>We are able to find, learn and do what we want, anywhere, anytime and anything with the internet.

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