homework 03.20

2024-03-20 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: How does contamination affect our health? These days, many people are worried about environmental pollution. So, there are many campaigns and movements to reduce contamination. One of the reason why many people want to reduce contamination is health. For example, if living for water, ground, and food are contaminated in the area where we live, we cannot live healthy. And as a result, our life time will be reduce. The contamination are affect to nature and animals. Finally, I think this effect will follow to greater disaster for people like a butterfly effect. But, I think the bigger problem is that a few worst companies secretly spill dangerous and contamination substances into the land or sea.

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How does contamination affect our health?

These days, many people are worried about the environmental pollution.
>> CORRECT!
So, there are many campaigns and movements to reduce contamination.
>> CORRECT!
One of the reason why many people want to reduce contamination is health.
>> One of the reasons why many people want to reduce contamination is because of health concerns.
For example, if living for water, ground, and food are contaminated in the area where we live, we cannot live healthy.
>> For example, if our sources like water, ground, and food are contaminated in the area where we live, we cannot live healthily.
And as a result, our life time will be reduce.
>> And as a result, the time of our lives will be reduced.
The contamination are affect to nature and animals.
>> The contamination also affects nature and animals.
Finally, I think this effect will follow to greater disaster for people like a butterfly effect.
>> Finally, I think this effect will lead to greater disasters to people like a butterfly effect.
But, I think the bigger problem is that a few worst companies secretly spill dangerous and contamination substances into the land or sea.
>> CORRECT!

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