homework 03.21

2024-03-21 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: Why is genocide still happening in the world? I can\'t understand at all. The war, it\'s a battle between a state(nation) and a soldier. But, in a war, I don\'t understand why citizens should be genocide or harmed. Even them, expect war, genocide happen for politics purpose. Because, the slayer get a benefit from genocide. This benefit is they threaten people\'s life. Among the kinds of genocide, I think really terrible thing is killing citizens and prisoners. Because it\'s threatening the person\'s life of the hostage. I think it\'s a crime that should never happen.

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why is genocide still happening in the world?

I can\'t understand at all.
>> CORRECT!
The war, it\'s a battle between a state(nation) and a soldier.
>> CORRECT!
But, in a war, I don\'t understand why citizens should be genocide or harmed.
>> But, in a war, I don\'t understand why citizens should experience genocide or be harmed.
Even them, expect war, genocide happen for politics purpose.
>> Even them, except war, genocide happens for political purposes.
Because, the slayer gets a benefit from genocide.
>> CORRECT!
This benefit is they threaten people\'s life.
>> This benefit is that they threaten people\'s lives.
Among the kinds of genocide, I think really terrible thing is killing citizens and prisoners.
>> Among the kinds of genocide, I think the most terrible thing is killing citizens and prisoners.
Because it\'s threatening the person\'s life of the hostage.
>> Because they are a threat to the life of the hostages.
I think it\'s a crime that should never happen.
>> CORRECT!

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