homework 03.28

2024-03-28 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: What positive things can the world learn from your country? It\'s a long time since I introduce the positive parts of our country. My country also has advantages and positive things, but the media and other things always showed only the negative side. For example, an American writer posted a video about Korea title \" The most depressed country in the world\". I\'m also agree, I think a lot of people\'s mental theses days are has anger, sensitive, and easily get depression more than before. But, I want to find positive(advantages) things and let many people know. This time I\'ll introduce the Public transport system in South Korea. This system is even if I transfer several times, I can use public transportation at a low price. And, we can go to most of metropolitan area use the bus and subway. In addition, high-speed railways has completed, we can move from suburban areas to the center of Seoul very quickly.

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What positive things can the world learn from your country?

It\'s a long time since I introduce the positive parts of our country.
>> It\'s been a long time since I introduced the positive parts of our country.
My country also has advantages and positive things, but the media and other things always showed only the negative side.
>> CORRECT!
For example, an American writer posted a video about Korea title \" The most depressed country in the world\".
>> For example, an American writer posted a video about South Korea entitled \" The most depressed country in the world\".
I\'m also agree, I think a lot of people\'s mental theses days are has anger, sensitive, and easily get depression more than before.
>> I also agree, I think a lot of people\'s mindset these days include anger, sensitivity, and depression more than before.
But, I want to find positive(advantages) things and let many people know.
>> CORRECT!
This time I\'ll introduce the Public transport system in South Korea.
>> CORRECT!
This system is even if I transfer several times, I can use public transportation at a low price.
>> This transportation system is good because even if I transfer several times, I can use the public transportation at a low price.
And, we can go to most of metropolitan area use the bus and subway.
>> And, we can go to most metropolitan areas using the bus and subway.
In addition, high-speed railways has completed, we can move from suburban areas to the center of Seoul very quickly.
>> In addition, high-speed railways are completed, we can move from suburban areas to the center of Seoul very quickly.

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