homework 04.21

2023-04-21 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: What do you think is the most dangerous animal? There are so many dangerous animals in the world. However, I don\'t find dangerous animals in the my city. Most of these can see in zoo. But, often I find a variety of wild animals when I go out of city, go to countryside, or climb mountains. So, I\'ll tell about a dangerous animals that I\'ve faced . I think the dangerous animal is \"snake\". Snakes are often seen on mountain road or in forests. They move silently, and some kind have deadly poison. So, If I find any other kind animals I can escape. But, if a snake suddenly bite me, it will be hard to avoid. So, I think it\'s a dangerous animal.

강사 첨삭

Good day, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the most dangerous animal?

There are so many dangerous animals in the world.

>> CORRECT!

However, I don\'t find dangerous animals in the my city.

>> However, I don\'t find dangerous animals in the city.

OR >> However, I don\'t find dangerous animals in my city.

Most of these can see in zoo.

>> Most of these animals can be found in the zoo.

But, often I find a variety of wild animals when I go out of city, go to countryside, or climb mountains.

>> But, often times, I find a variety of wild animals when I go out of the city, go to countryside, or climb mountains.

So, I\'ll tell about a dangerous animals that I\'ve faced.

>> So, I\'ll tell you about some dangerous animals that I\'ve faced.

I think the dangerous animal is \"snake\".

>> I think the most dangerous animal is \"snake\".

Snakes are often seen on mountain road or in forests.

>> Snakes are often seen in the mountain trails or in forests.

They move silently, and some kind have deadly poison.

>> They move silently, and some kinds of snakes have deadly poisons.

OR >> They move silently, and some kinds of snakes are venomous.

So, If I find any other kind animals I can escape.

>> So, if I find any other kinds of animals, I can escape.

But, if a snake suddenly bite me, it will be hard to avoid.

>> But, if a snake suddenly bites me, it will be hard for me to avoid it.

OR >> But, if a snake suddenly bites me, it\'s risky.

So, I think it\'s a dangerous animal.

>> CORRECT!

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