homework 05.02

2023-05-02 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: Why should we have hobbies? The reason why we should have a bobby is It\'s to reduce stress. Usually we will be stressed recevied when we go to school or work. The way to reduce stress is a hobby. On holidays, in our free time, we exercise or go on a trip. Other hobbies are good, too. Before,I had a hobby of collecting limited edition shoes. But recently I given up, because I lost interest. So, maybe I\'ll start another new hobby. I think a new hobby increase knowledge. If I have a new hobby, I will many learn about related hobby.

강사 첨삭

Good day, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why should we have hobbies?

The reason why we should have a bobby is It\'s to reduce stress.
>> The reason why we should have a hobby is to reduce stress.
Usually we will be stressed recevied when we go to school or work.
>> Usually, we get a lot of stress from school or at work.
The way to reduce stress is a hobby.
>> The way to reduce stress is through a hobby.
On holidays, in our free time, we exercise or go on a trip.
>> CORRECT! 
Other hobbies are good, too.
>> CORRECT! 
Before, I had a hobby of collecting limited edition shoes.
>> CORRECT! 
But recently I given up, because I lost interest.
>> But recently I have given up, because I lost interest in it.
So, maybe I\'ll start another new hobby.
>> So, maybe I\'ll start another hobby.
OR >> So, maybe I\'ll start a new hobby.
I think a new hobby increase knowledge.
>> I think a new hobby will increase my knowledge.
If I have a new hobby, I will many learn about related hobby.
>> If I have a new hobby, I will learn many things about a certain hobby.

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