homework 06.16
학생이 쓴 원문
~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst thing about being in the army?
The army is has so many worst things.
First of all, the salary(wage) is too low.
Theses days a soldier receive 1million won (almost 43,700 peso) per month.
But in the South Korea, this salary is very low.
If I did work outside except army, I will get more than three times more.
The salary is rising now, but it\'s still not enough.
Second is bullying. Even it is goes on like a custom.
A few bad guys bullying other people use a creative ways.
But I never bothered other people.
These things really need disappear.
강사 첨삭
Good day, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille
~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst thing about being in the army?
The army is has so many worst things.
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst thing about being in the army?
The army is has so many worst things.
>> The army has the worst things.
First of all, the salary(wage) is too low.
>> CORRECT!
Theses days a soldier receive 1million won (almost 43,700 peso) per month.
Theses days a soldier receive 1million won (almost 43,700 peso) per month.
>> Theses days, a soldier receives 1 million won (almost 43,700 pesos) per month.
But in the South Korea, this salary is very low.
>> But in South Korea, this salary is very low.
OR >> But in my country, this salary is very low.
If I did work outside except army, I will get more than three times more.
>> If I work outside the army, I will get more than three times of the basic salary.
The salary is rising now, but it\'s still not enough.
>> CORRECT!
Second is bullying. Even it is goes on like a custom.
Second is bullying. Even it is goes on like a custom.
>> Second is bullying, even it is goes on like a custom.
A few bad guys bullying other people use a creative ways.
>> A few bad guys bullying other people use creative ways.
But I never bothered other people.
>> CORRECT!
These things really need disappear.
These things really need disappear.
>> These things really need to disappear.
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