homework 06.22

2023-06-22 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

Please answer the question: Do you worry about the health of those around you? Yes, I worry about the health of around me. My friends and family have been sick a lot. They are don\'t has bad health habits, but they suddenly get sick. Among them I worrying about the health is hair loss. Because, my grand father and my father have a hair loss. These days I feel pressure of hair loss. Maybe my hair will disappear in the future. I don\'t want hair loss. I\'m trying to for health, reduce bad habits and doing a exercise. But, I can\'t avoid it. I fall into despair of my hair.

강사 첨삭

Good day, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


Yes, I worry about the health of around me.
>> Yes, I worry about the health of people around me.
My friends and family have been sick a lot.
>> CORRECT!
They are don\'t has bad health habits, but they suddenly get sick.
>> They don\'t have bad health habits, but they suddenly get sick.
Among them I worrying about the health is hair loss.
>> Among them, I worry about hair loss.
Because, my grand father and my father have a hair loss.
>> That\' because my grandfather and father suffer from hair loss.
These days I feel pressure of hair loss.
>> These days I feel pressure about hair loss.
Maybe my hair will disappear in the future. 
>> CORRECT!
I don\'t want hair loss.
>> I don\'t want to suffer from hair loss.
I\'m trying to for health, reduce bad habits and doing a exercise.
>> I\'m trying to be healthy; I reduce bad habits and do exercise.
But, I can\'t avoid it. 
>> CORRECT!
I fall into despair of my hair.
>> I will fall into despair if I suffer from hair loss.

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