homework 06.26
학생이 쓴 원문
~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the benefits of collecting?
One of them benefits of collecting is pleasure.
It\'s feel the joy of collecting items one by one.
The reason why I collect shoes. It was value of the shoes.
At that time, it was not easy to collect limited edition shoes.
First way is waiting in front of the store a few hours or even days.
The reason why lining up is sell the shoes only a first come, first served.
Second way is apply a draw and win.
This ways is have a too many rival, so it\'s hard to win
Anyway, this ways I used to collected item.
These shoes have a high price.
But, these days it\'s less value and easier to get than before.
So, I lost interest. Namely, I feel lost benefits of collecting.
강사 첨삭
Good day, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille
~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the benefits of collecting?
One of them benefits of collecting is pleasure.
Please answer the question:
What are the benefits of collecting?
One of them benefits of collecting is pleasure.
>> CORRECT!
It\'s feel the joy of collecting items one by one.
It\'s feel the joy of collecting items one by one.
>> It makes you feel the joy of collecting items one by one.
The reason why I collect shoes. It was value of the shoes.
>> The reason why I collected shoes was because of its value.
At that time, it was not easy to collect limited edition shoes.
>> CORRECT!
First way is waiting in front of the store a few hours or even days.
First way is waiting in front of the store a few hours or even days.
>> CORRECT!
The reason why lining up is sell the shoes only a first come, first served.
The reason why lining up is sell the shoes only a first come, first served.
>> The reason why we have to line up is because they sell the shoes only on a \"first come, first served\" basis.
Second way is apply a draw and win.
>> Second way is to apply a raffle draw and win.
This ways is have a too many rival, so it\'s hard to win
>> In this way you would have so many rivals, so it\'s hard to win.
Anyway, this ways I used to collected item.
>> Anyway, these are the ways I used to collected items.
These shoes have a high price.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> These shoes are actually expensive.
But, these days it\'s less value and easier to get than before.
>> But, these days, its value has decreased, and is easier to get than before.
So, I lost interest.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I lost interest because of it.
Namely, I feel lost benefits of collecting.
>> I feel like there aren\'t any benefits of collecting anything these days.
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