homework 06.27

2023-06-28 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: Do you buy all the things you have? Yes, when I buy all the things I need, I use my pocket money to solve it. Since I was young, my parents worked and give me pocket money. So, then I learned save money. A few years later my parents gave me their credit card. But, a few days later I was confiscated again. that\'s the reason, I used over spend their credit card. Since then, I pay for most of items with my money. So, I fixed my over spend of money. Sometimes, expensive things like a cost of school education, travel fee and etc.. my patents will pay for me. So, I feel grateful to my parents.

강사 첨삭

Good day, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you buy all the things you have?

Yes, when I buy all the things I need, I use my pocket money to solve it.
>> CORRECT!
Since I was young, my parents worked and give me pocket money.
>> CORRECT!
So, then I learned save money.
>> So, I learned the art of saving money.
OR >> So, I learned how to save money.
A few years later my parents gave me their credit card.
>> CORRECT!
But, a few days later I was confiscated again.
>> But, a few days later, it was confiscated again.
OR >>  But, a few days later, they confiscated it from me.
that\'s the reason, I used over spend their credit card.
>> The sole reason was because of overspending using their credit card.
Since then, I pay for most of items with my money.
>> CORRECT!
So, I fixed my over spend of money.
>> So, I fixed my habit of overspending.
Sometimes, expensive things like a cost of school education, travel fee and etc.. my patents
will pay for me.
>> Sometimes, expensive things like my school tuition fee, travel fee (and others), my parents
pay it for me.

So, I feel grateful to my parents.
>> CORRECT!

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