homework 08.18

2023-08-19 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: What are the common gadgets used by children these days? Spread of smart devices increases, children also easily using many gadgets. When I often on the street, I can easy to see a baby using a smart or iPad in a stroller(baby carriage). It is keeps babies from crying and gives them smart devices for relieve their tired. But, I think it\'s not good ways. The next common gadget is smartwatches. Already many children use smartphones, but some parents buy smartwatches instead of smartphones for their children. The biggest reason is to prevent smartphone addiction. So, they only use essential functions through smartwatches. Through the smartwatches, children use for calls, messages, and their parents use the GPS location tracking app to children.

강사 첨삭

Good day, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the common gadgets used by children these days?

Spread of smart devices increases, children also easily using many gadgets.
>> As the spread of smart devices increases, children also easily use many gadgets.
When I often on the street, I can easy to see a baby using a smart or iPad in a stroller (baby carriage).
>> When I am on the street, I can easily see a baby using a smartphone or iPad in a stroller (baby carrier).
It is keeps babies from crying and gives them smart devices for relieve their tired.
>> It keeps babies from crying, so parents give them smart devices to make them feel relieved when they\'re tired.
But, I think it\'s not good ways.
>> But, I think it\'s not a good way.
The next common gadget is smartwatches.
>> CORRECT!
Already many children use smartphones, but some parents buy smartwatches instead of smartphones for their children.
>>  Many children already use smartphones, but some parents buy smartwatches instead of smartphones for their children.
The biggest reason is to prevent smartphone addiction.
>> The biggest reason is to prevent their kids from smartphone addiction.
So, they only use essential functions through smartwatches.
>> CORRECT!
Through the smartwatches, children use for calls, messages, and their parents use the GPS location tracking app to children.
>> Through smartwatches, children use it for calls, messages, and their parents use the GPS location tracking app to find their children.

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