homework 09.15

2023-09-16 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: What are the disadvantages of doing cosmetic surgery? These days, many people do a lot of cosmetic(plastic) surgery for their appearance or therapeutic purposes. I think, moderate surgery is good but, excessive surgery is not good. Because I watched many people cases of side effects from excessive surgery. In addition, some people get mental problem because of the cosmetic surgery\'s side effects. And, even if we asked responsibility to doctor, victim said that it is difficult to get compensation. So I think, if we want cosmetic surgery, we have to carefully choice.

강사 첨삭

Good day, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

>> CORRECT!

I think, moderate surgery is good but, excessive surgery is not good.

>> CORRECT!

OR >> I think, moderate surgery is good but, excessive surgery isn\'t.

Because I watched many people cases of side effects from excessive surgery.

>> That\'s because I have watched many cases of people who experienced the side effects of excessive surgery.

In addition, some people get mental problem because of the cosmetic surgery\'s side effects.

>> In addition, some people get mental problems because of the cosmetic surgery\'s side effects.

And, even if we asked responsibility to doctor, victim said that it is difficult to get compensation.

>> And, even if we ask responsibility from the doctors, victims said that it is difficult to get for compensation.

So I think, if we want cosmetic surgery, we have to carefully choice.

>> So I think, if we want cosmetic surgery, we have to carefully choose.

OR >> So I think, if we want to undergo cosmetic surgery, we have to think more than twice.

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