homework 09.26

2023-09-26 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: Do you think being a soldier would be interesting? Actually, I don\'t have interesting of being a soldier. I had been in the army for almost 21 months as a duty. I had a lot of experiences and feelings during stay there. In conclusion, I think soldier is no suit job for me. Among the reason is that the low rank in the military, the more received stressed. If I have a low rank, I can\'t say another opinion and I have to follow orders unconditionally. So, for similar reasons, I think the soldier is not a befitting job for me.

강사 첨삭

Good day, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think being a soldier would be interesting?

Actually, I don\'t have interesting of being a soldier.
>> Actually, I don\'t have an interest in being a soldier.
I had been in the army for almost 21 months as a duty.
>> CORRECT!
I had a lot of experiences and feelings during stay there.
>> I had a lot of experiences and feelings during my stay there.
In conclusion, I think soldier is no suit job for me.
>> In conclusion, I think being a soldier is not a suitable job for me.
OR >> In conclusion, I think working in the army doesn\'t suit me.
Among the reason is that the low rank in the military, the more received stressed.
>> Among the reasons is that having a low rank in the military is more stressful.
If I have a low rank, I can\'t say another opinion and I have to follow orders unconditionally.
>> CORRECT!
So, for similar reasons, I think the soldier is not a befitting job for me.
>> So, for similar reasons, I think being a soldier is not a befitting job for me.

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