homework 10.05

2023-10-09 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: What kinds of punishments should be given to criminals that have committed heavy crimes? Recently days, many absurd crimes have occurred in Korea. One of the crime is the motiveless crimes. The motiveless crime is a criminal harms to stranger. The most of this criminals try to lower their punishments because they have mental illness. And some of them have this criminal did several times. In addition, some of them criminal said prison is more convenient than society. Because there are nothing can do in society. So, the prison facilities, systems are convenient for them. I think these heavy criminal should be cut off forever from society. And I don\'t understand that the prison environment is too good.

강사 첨삭

Good day, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What kinds of punishments should be given to criminals that have committed heavy crimes?

Recently days, many absurd crimes have occurred in Korea.
>> Recently, many absurd crimes have occurred in Korea.
One of the crime is the motiveless crimes.
>> One of the crime is a motiveless crime.
The motiveless crime is a criminal harms to stranger.
>> A motiveless crime is a crime wherein a criminal harms a stranger.
The most of this criminals try to lower their punishments because they have mental illness.
>> Most of these criminals try to lower their punishments by saying they have a mental illness.
And some of them have this criminal did several times.
>> Some of them did it several times.
In addition, some of them criminal said prison is more convenient than society.
>> In addition, some of these criminals said that the prison is more convenient than being outside.
Because there are nothing can do in society.
>> It\'s because there\'s nothing they can do in the society.
So, the prison facilities, systems are convenient for them.
>> CORRECT!
I think these heavy criminal should be cut off forever from society.
>> I think these criminals should be cut off forever from the society.
And I don\'t understand that the prison environment is too good.
>> And I don\'t understand that the prison\'s environment is too good.

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