homework 10.13

2023-10-14 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: What is the worst thing about computers? I think computer and internet are one of the best inventions. Now we have personal computer and smartphones. Using this, we can work, internet community, hobbies, shopping and search the information. But if it\'s too much, everything is bad. I think the worst thing about computer is internet addiction. Internet addiction\'s examples are include mental health, health problems. And if they don\'t use internet, they feel anxious. Severe people can\'t live a normal life. So I think internet addiction is a worst thing.

강사 첨삭

Good day, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What is the worst thing about computers?

I think computer and internet are one of the best inventions.

>> CORRECT!

Now we have personal computer and smartphones.

>> Now we have personal computers and smartphones.

Using this, we can work, internet community, hobbies, shopping and search the information.

>> Using this, we are able to work, talk with the internet community, do our hobbies, go shopping, and search information.

But if it\'s too much, everything is bad.

>> CORRECT!

I think the worst thing about computer is internet addiction.

>> I think the worst thing about computers is internet addiction.

Internet addiction\'s examples are include mental health, health problems.

>> Internet addiction result to problems with our mental health and physical health.

And if they don\'t use internet, they feel anxious.

>> And if they don\'t use the internet, they feel anxious.

Severe people can\'t live a normal life.

>> People who are severely addicted to it can\'t live a normal life.

So I think internet addiction is a worst thing.

>> So I think internet addiction is the worst thing.

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