homework 10.25

2023-10-25 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: Is obesity a disease? Why or why not? I think severe obesity is a disease. I\'m ashamed. Because I am overweight. So, I\'m trying not to become obese. The reason I don\'t want to be obese is obese can cause many disease. Severe obesity is have various diseases in the body like a high blood pressure. And if I have a severe obesity, it\'s can interfere daily life because the body is heavy. So, we have to maintain the healthy weight. We need to exercise and good eating habits for proper weight. To sum up, I think severe obesity is can dangerous body. But severe underweight also is not good to body.

강사 첨삭

Good day, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is obesity a disease? Why or why not?

I think severe obesity is a disease.

>> CORRECT!

I\'m ashamed. Because I am overweight.

>> I\'m ashamed because I am overweight.

So, I\'m trying not to become obese.

>> CORRECT!

The reason I don\'t want to be obese is obese can cause many disease.

>> The reason I don\'t want to be obese is obesity can cause many disease.

Severe obesity is have various diseases in the body like a high blood pressure.

>> Severe obesity can result to various diseases in the body like high blood pressure.

And if I have a severe obesity, it\'s can interfere daily life because the body is heavy.

>> And if I have a severe obesity, it can interfere with daily life because my body is heavy.

So, we have to maintain the healthy weight.

>> CORRECT!

We need to exercise and good eating habits for proper weight.

>> We need to exercise and to have good eating habits for proper weight management.

To sum up, I think severe obesity is can dangerous body.

>> To sum up, I think severe obesity is dangerous to our body.

But severe underweight also is not good to body.

>> But being severely underweight is also not good to the body.

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