homework#10
학생이 쓴 원문
Good evening! it is 10 o\'clock now. I think time is passing very fast..
Today homework topic is very diffcult because it is a major problem in korea. But I will write my opnions
Nowadays, Korea is in trouble with Japan about the export regulation.
So, Businesses are in trouble because of the problem. Especially, in the semiconductor sector.
I want to talk about some ways to keep peace with Japan.
First, I think we must have more bettet technologies than Japan.
This may sound contradictory.
I mean that brids of a feather flock together. In other words, If we have more better tech than Japan, we will get along with japan.
For example, many people usually get along with other people with the same conditions. I believe the contries are the same.
In addtion, we must build up a strength of a country. The world is a meatball. So, If we do not have power, it will be eaten by other countires. This case is the common in history, too.
강사 첨삭
Hi Jonathan!
I know that this topic sound vague for you but thanks for taking it.
I like your ideas a lot. Maybe you thought of it carefully before writing it. Hahaha!
I just notice that you keep on mentioning the subject in your sentences over and over again.
In this case, we have to use pronouns. First, know what are pronouns and how to use them.
Good luck.
Here are my corrections.
Nowadays, Korea is in trouble with Japan about the export regulation.
>> Correct!
So, Businesses are in trouble because of the problem. Especially, in the semiconductor sector.
So, Businesses are in trouble because of the problem. Especially, in the semiconductor sector.
>> So, businesses are in trouble because of the problem in the semiconductor sector.
I want to talk about some ways to keep peace with Japan.
I want to talk about some ways to keep peace with Japan.
>> Correct!
First, I think we must have more bettet technologies than Japan.
>> First, I think we must have better technologies than Japan.
This may sound contradictory.
This may sound contradictory.
>>This may sound contradictory but... ( this need a continuous thoughts before you end your sentence )
I mean that brids of a feather flock together. In other words, If we have more better tech than Japan, we will get along with japan.
I mean that brids of a feather flock together. In other words, If we have more better tech than Japan, we will get along with japan.
>>I mean \'birds of same feather flock together\'. In other words, if we have better technologies than Japan, we will get along with them.
For example, many people usually get along with other people with the same conditions. I believe the contries are the same.
For example, many people usually get along with other people with the same conditions. I believe the contries are the same.
>> For example, many people usually get along with others with the same condition. I believe countries are the same.
In addtion, we must build up a strength of a country. The world is a meatball. So, If we do not have power, it will be eaten by other countires. This case is the common in history, too.
>> In addition, we must build strength of our country. The world is a meatball. So, If we do not have power, we will be eaten by other countries. This case is common in history, too.
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