homework

2020-06-16 · 첨삭 강사 Ysabelle

학생이 쓴 원문

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY: We are often told that \"you can\'t buy happiness\". If you were richer, do you think you would be happier? Why/why not? I think I would be happier if I were richer. In this age, we definitely need some money to do something we want to. If I were richer, I wouldn\'t worry about money when I want to do something or buy something and it would be the evidence that I would be happier because I could reduce one of my concerns. However, if I try to get richer more and more, then it would make me unhappier because I would always feel that it\'s not enough. Thus, we need to be satisfied with our present status and just enjoy it for the happy life. :)

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
I also agree haha~
Have a good night!

I think I would be happier if I were richer. 
>>CORRECT

In this age, we definitely need some money to do something we want to.
>>At this age, we definitely need money to do things we want.

 If I were richer, I wouldn\'t worry about money when I want to do something or buy something and it would be the evidence that I would be happier because I could reduce one of my concerns. 
>>If I were richer, I wouldn\'t worry about money when I want to do things or buy things and it would be the evidence that I would be happier because I could lessen my concerns.

However, if I try to get richer more and more, then it would make me unhappier because I would always feel that it\'s not enough. 
>>However, if I try to become richer, then it would make me unhappy because I would always feel that it\'s not enough.

Thus, we need to be satisfied with our present status and just enjoy it for the happy life. :)
>>CORRECT

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·