Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
Thank you teacher
강사 첨삭
Good morning [이름]!
I think your answer is a bit emotional :)
Anyhow, thank you for doing your homework again.
Good work!
I really agree with this saying.
>>>CORRECT!
OR: I really agree with this.
Because also in my case, there are many ways that I can learn in the TV shows like history, cooking recipes and so on.
>>>Because I also learn many things like history, recipes and others on TV.
When I was young, I had heard that watching TV is unhealthy in our body, so I thought watching it was bad thing to do.
>>>When I was young, I thought watching TV was a bad thing because I heard that watching TV was harmful to our body.
But I don’t think so these days.
>>>CORRECT!
We are living in 21st century, and there are so many and various programs which can help us to develop our common sense that we can learn from them.
>>>We live in the 21st century, and there are so many different programs that can help us develop our common sense.
For example, like policies about real estate, efficient ways to clean our house and various news about politics every day.
>>>CORRECT!
We have to know news about world and nations.
>>>We need to know the news about the world and and our nation.
So for these reasons, I claim to say good television is essential for our lives and makes us live better.
>>>For this reason, I argue that good television is essential to our lives and makes us live better.
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