homework
학생이 쓴 원문
HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
What are your thoughts on violence to attain peace?
I think unavoidable violence is definitely required to keep our peace. First, every person thinks a different way and that\'s why we need some rules and regulations to keep our society and system. If we don\'t have any rules then stronger people would strip everything from normal people. It also would cause more violence. By the way, activities that people are pressed to follow the rules need power and it would connect to unavoidable violence. As a result, we need to use violence to attain peace.
강사 첨삭
Hello there [이름]~
Thank you for answering!
Have a nice day!
I think unavoidable violence is definitely required to keep our peace.
>>CORRECT
First, every person thinks a different way and that\'s why we need some rules and regulations to keep our society and system.
>>First, every person thinks in a different way and that\'s why we need some rules and regulations to keep our society and system.
If we don\'t have any rules then stronger people would strip everything from normal people.
>>CORRECT
It also would cause more violence.
>>CORRECT
By the way, activities that people are pressed to follow the rules need power and it would connect to unavoidable violence.
>>CORRECT
As a result, we need to use violence to attain peace.
>>CORRECT
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