homework

2020-11-23 · 첨삭 강사 Elica

학생이 쓴 원문

Why are the poor poor? Well, it\'s depending on stuations and countries. I think there is no absolute answer about it. However, I think being poor or not is up to individuals in Korea because we have quite equal oppotunities to study. Actually, rich parents can make their kids rich, too. But, even if someone is born in the poor family, he or she can be rich. I mean we can have enough oppotunities to succeed in Korea. If someone attributes his or her poverty to the society, I think that they just make an excuse. Of course, it can be true in Korea. Environment and society can be more important for success than individual\'s effort in many countries. I heard a lot of complaints about Korea society from people. They say Korea is like hell. Maybe satisfaction rate is very low. But I think Korea is not bad to live. There are always ways to go even if we feel stuck.

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]!
I totally agree. I think a persons\' success doesn\'t solely depend on the society where he or she belongs. It more of a personal struggle and commitment. We make our future. Thank you for sharing.
~Elica~
Why are the poor poor?
>>Why are the poor poor?
Well, it\'s depending on stuations and countries.
>>We, it\'s depending on situations and countries. 
I think there is no absolute answer about it.
>>I think there is no absolute answer for it.
However, I think being poor or not is up to individuals in Korea because we have quite equal oppotunities to study.
>>However, I think being poor or not is up to individuals in Korea because we have quite equal opportunities to study.
Actually, rich parents can make their kids rich, too. 
>>CORRECT
But, even if someone is born in the poor family, he or she can be rich.
>>CORRECT
I mean we can have enough oppotunities to succeed in Korea. 
>>I mean we can have enough opportunities to succeed in Korea.
If someone attributes his or her poverty to the society, I think that they just make an excuse.
>>If someone attributes his or her poverty to the society, I think that are just making excuses. 
Of course, it can be true in Korea.
>>CORRECT
Environment and society can be more important for success than individual\'s effort in many countries.
>>CORRECT
I heard a lot of complaints about Korea society from people. 
>>I heard a lot of complaints about the Korean society from people.
They say Korea is like hell. 
>>CORRECT
Maybe satisfaction rate is very low.
>>Maybe the satisfaction rate is very low.
But I think Korea is not bad to live. 
>>But I think Korean is not that bad to live in.
There are always ways to go even if we feel stuck.
>>CORRECT

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·