Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this? What solutions can you offer?- (^-^)
My opinion :
As a result, the agricultural towns will deteriorate and the cities will be more complicated.
It that cities have more opportunities and more various jobs for people.
So young people who just start their life as a worker might have difficulties leaving cities.
I think we had better aim at encouraging people who have elementary schoolchild to come to an agricultural town.
Appealing the advantages of the agricultural school such as naturous education and relief from stress existing in cities.
(I heard a weird rumor recently. Some schoolchildren are checking the price of their classmate\'s house and car to divide into some group by property. Like this could be big stress to child.)
And it would be good to give transfer students a scholarship.
강사 첨삭
Hi Genie! Thanks for spending time with your homework. i really appreciate the effort! ^ ^
You have a very good thought about the topic. But as you see, I have refined your sentences so it would look more appealing. And also, be mindful with your articles; \"A\", \"AN\", \"THE\". ^ ^
Keep on going! You are on the right track! ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah
>>CORRECT OR
>>This would result to agricultural towns deteriorating and cities getting more crowded.
It that cities have more opportunities and more various jobs for people.
It that cities have more opportunities and more various jobs for people.
>>It is definite that cities have more opportunities and more various jobs for people.
So young people who just start their life as a worker might have difficulties leaving cities.
So young people who just start their life as a worker might have difficulties leaving cities.
>>So for young people who are just starting in life they may have difficulty surviving in the city.
I think we had better aim at encouraging people who have elementary schoolchild to come to an agricultural town.
I think we had better aim at encouraging people who have elementary schoolchild to come to an agricultural town.
>>I think it is best to encourage families with elementary children to move to agricultural towns.
Appealing the advantages of the agricultural school such as naturous education and relief from stress existing in cities.
Appealing the advantages of the agricultural school such as naturous education and relief from stress existing in cities.
>>Appealing the advantages of agricultural education in schools and relief from stress in the city life.
(I heard a weird rumor recently.
(I heard a weird rumor recently.
>>CORRECT
Some school children are checking the price of their classmate\'s house and car to divide into some group by property.
>>Some school children are checking the price of their classmate\'s house and car and comparing it with them. (I don\'t quite understand your sentences, but I hope this is what you meant.)
Like this could be big stress to child.)
>>Like this could be a big stress to a child.
And it would be good to give transfer students a scholarship.
And it would be good to give transfer students a scholarship.
>>CORRECT
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