HOMEWORK

2020-12-24 · 첨삭 강사 Jane

학생이 쓴 원문

It seems that many children now have TVs in their bedroom. Do you think this is a good idea? Why or why not? Discuss 3 to 5 sentences. -> I think having TVs in the bedroom is not good action. Because if one child has a TV in his bedroom, his health will be bad because of electromagnetism. Also his eyes can be bad because of electromagnetism.

강사 첨삭

Hey, [이름]. Happy Christmas Eve!^^ Thank you for doing your homework. You managed to express your ideas more and I appreciate the effort. Keep it up. I am glad to know you understand how not having a television in the room is not beneficial. Enjoy your Christmas. Have a good one! ~Teacher Jane c\",)


I think having TVs in the bedroom is not good action.
>> I think having a TV in the bedroom is not good. / I think having a TV in the bedroom is not a good idea.

Because if one child has a TV in his bedroom, his health will be bad because of electromagnetism.
>> CORRECT =)
>> OR: Because if one child has a TV in his/her bedroom his/her health will be affected by electromagnetism.

Also his eyes can be bad because of electromagnetism.
>> Also, he/she will have vision problems because of electromagnetism.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·