HOMEWORK
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hello Claire!
I\'m very impressed with your writing! Thank you for sending your composition again today! I really appreciate it. See you tomorrow in class! ^^
~~Teacher Kate
Yes, I like to relax or do something very active such as workout to relieve stress.
>>CORRECT!
I think a workout is a good healing method for someone who stressed out.
>>I think a workout is a good healing method for someone who is stressed out.
Working out is both relaxing and active activity at the same time.
>>Working out is both a relaxing and an active activity at the same time.
The first time, working out is such a hard challenge to stressed out people.
>>At first, working out is such a hard challenge for stressed out people.
Many people think that hard things cause the stress.
>>CORRECT!
I was the same as them at the first time because I also thought hard things cause stress.
>>I was the same as them at the first because I also thought hard things cause stress.
But it’s not like they are thinking.
>>But it’s not like what they are thinking.
After the hard work, reward always comes to us.
>>CORRECT!
The reward of the workout is a clear mindset, calming the mind, and we can even lose some weight after all.
>>The reward of working out is a clear mindset, a calm mind, and we can even lose some weight after all.
If you don’t like this working out method, there are still a lot of methods waiting for stressed out people.
>>If you don’t like working out, there are still a lot of methods waiting for stressed out people.
Having a hobby is also a good way to relieve stress.
>>CORRECT!
Esports, yoga, cooking, and many other things.
>>For example, there are sports, yoga, cooking, and many other things.
But I prefer some activities that we use our body many times.
>>But, I prefer some activities where we use our body many times.
If we use our body parts many times, we can take care of our health, and relieve stress.
>>CORRECT!
Researchers said when we move our body many times, our brain activity becomes faster.
>>CORRECT!
When brain activity gets faster, the abilities such as thinking skills increases.
>>CORRECT!
That’s why I’m preferring body activities for a healthy body, healthy brain, and most importantly we can relieve stress.
>>That’s why I prefer physical activities for a healthy body, a healthy brain, and most importantly we can relieve stress.
No matter what stress relieving method people have, if they use the method nicely, it will really help us.
>>No matter what stress relieving method people have, if they use the method correctly, it will really help us.
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