Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
When I was young, I used to play chess with my friends. Most of the time, I played games as part of club activity. Initially, I started to play chess to make friends in school. I studied in New Zealand during elementary school. At first, I had a hard time getting along with others due to language barriers. Playing games made me be more open-minded and express my thought without constraint. Alongside this, I discovered the charm of playing chess, such as contemplating various options to win the match. I continued to be committed to chess because developing strategic tactics attracted me. Most of the time, I felt accomplishment from succeeding strategies. Above all, I have also learned the value of patience throughout the games. I had used to be very short-tempered before playing chess, but I learned to be in a relaxed in any circumstances.
강사 첨삭
Here\'s your edited composition, Aciel.
Cheers,
Jean~~
I used to play chess with my friends.
>> correct
Most of the time, I played games as part of club activity.
>> Most of the time, I played games as part of club activities.
Initially, I started to play chess to make friends in school. I studied in New Zealand during elementary school. At first, I had a hard time getting along with others due to language barriers.
>> correct
Playing games made me be more open-minded and express my thought without constraint.
>> Playing games made me more open-minded and helped me express my thoughts without constraint.
Alongside this, I discovered the charm of playing chess, such as contemplating various options to win the match. I continued to be committed to chess because developing strategic tactics attracted me.
>> correct
Most of the time, I felt accomplishment from succeeding strategies.
>> Most of the time, I felt a sense of accomplishment from succeeding strategies.
Above all, I have also learned the value of patience throughout the games.
>> correct
I had used to be very short-tempered before playing chess, but I learned to be in a relaxed in any circumstances.
>> I used to be very short-tempered before I became interested in chess, but through this game, I learned how to be more relaxed or calm in any circumstances.
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