homework
학생이 쓴 원문
I think we don’t need to put a microchip on our body for our convenience.
These days, we don’t need to bring cash or use atm if we have a cell phone.
Of course, most Korean are using credit cards when they pay.
But nowadays, countries where people are using credit cards when they buy things are increasing.
In china, most people are using wechat pay, so if someone has a cell phone, they can pay without cash and credit cards.
In Korea, we are also using Samsung pay, the number of using Samsung pay is increasing.
But people who are using iphone can’t use Samsung pay and they can’t use even apple pay because apple pay is used in only America now.
However, this problem will be improvements in the future and we will use cell phone when we pay everywhere.
Accordingly, we don’t need to put a microchip on our body at the expense of risk.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름],
Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you.
Keep up the good work!
Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)
I think we don’t need to put a microchip on our body for our convenience.
>>> I think we don’t need to put a microchip on our bodies for our convenience.
These days, we don’t need to bring cash or use ATM if we have a cell phone.
>>> CORRECT
Of course, most Korean are using credit cards when they pay.
>>> CORRECT
OR: Most Koreans use credit cards when they pay.
But nowadays, countries where people are using credit cards when they buy things are increasing.
>>> But nowadays, the countries, where people are using credit cards when they buy things, are increasing.
In china, most people are using wechat pay, so if someone has a cell phone, they can pay without cash and credit cards.
>>> In China, most people are using WeChat Pay, so if someone has a cell phone then they can pay without cash and credit cards.
In Korea, we are also using Samsung pay, the number of using Samsung pay is increasing.
>>> In Korea, we are also using Samsung Pay, and the number of people using Samsung Pay is increasing.
But people who are using iphone can’t use Samsung pay and they can’t use even apple pay because apple pay is used in only America now.
>>> But people who are using iPhone can’t use Samsung Pay and they can’t even use even Apple Pay because it is only used in America now.
However, this problem will be improvements in the future and we will use cell phone when we pay everywhere.
>>> However, this problem will be improved in the future and we will use our cellphone when we pay everywhere.
Accordingly, we don’t need to put a microchip on our body at the expense of risk.
>>> CORRECT
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