homework

2022-01-12 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

HOMEWORK: ESSAY: Kindly answer the question with 3-4 sentences. What is your favorite place in your city and why? My favorite place is Dongtan lake park. Because I can see a beautiful view at night. There are so many buildings make me feel like I\'m on the streets of New York. When I take for a walk in that park, I can feel energetic by meeting various people who walk with their dogs. So I often take a walk that place for me to refresh.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]:) 

That sounds so relaxing. I wish I can go there and experience it myself. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

My favorite place is Dongtan lake park. 
>> CORRECT

Because I can see a beautiful view at night. 
>> It is because I can see a beautiful view there at night. 

There are so many buildings make me feel like I\'m on the streets of New York. 
>> There are so many buildings that makes me feel like I\'m on the streets of New York. 

When I take for a walk in that park, I can feel energetic by meeting various people who walk with their dogs.
>> When I take for a walk at  that park, I feel energetic by meeting various people who walk with their dogs.

So I often take a walk that place for me to refresh.
>> So I often take a walk on that place to refresh my mind. 

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