homework

2022-08-18 · 첨삭 강사 Donna

학생이 쓴 원문

Good evening, Donna. As I told you, we had visitors today. We tried to teach our hospital\'s system, and they seemed to be satisfied. So, I feel so good now even if I don\'t have energies at all. Meanwhile, you asked me about the beautiful place I have seen. I have seen beautiful coast in Jeju island and East coast in Korea. Jeju island is surrounded by Sea, So we can see the sea in any directions. And East coast have a real blue sea. That\'s because the sea in East coast is very deep and clean. Another nice view is my village. If you stay the room which is height in Song-do city, you can enjoy to see a gorgeous night sight. Looking down the city from the height, you can see a central park, newly constructed buildings, apartment, and sea. They are huge, beautiful and clean. Likewise, I have seen the beautiful places in other countries. Among of them, Cancun and Guam have nice beaches, I think. How about you? I want to know your experiences. Now I have to go home. Thank you.

강사 첨삭

Hello there, Dr. [이름]!

Congratulations on your hospital system demonstration to your guests! They must have been very much impressed. Tonight, I am sure you can sleep tightly.

Evidently, you have been to so many beautiful places. Jeju as you have described is a sight to behold. Moreover, just outside your home is a pretty park and a serene lake, how cool is that! Well, from watching Korean movies and drama, they actually show so many charming places in your country. Undesputedly, South Korea is a country in my bucket list. 

Unfortunately, since I when I was young, I only traveled when I compete, or when I turned adult, to work. One of the most beautiful scenery that I have seen was the Mayon Volcano which has a perfect inverted cone shape no matter how many times it has erupted in history. When you go to that place, it seems like you are only going in circles while the volcano is the same in any angle. Meanwhile, as Philippines is also surrounded by water, the sunset on the beach is also so overwhelming with warmth and reassuring feelings with its majestic and vibrant beaming hues. I guess I have never seen quite as yours. Probably the secret is pausing, feeling, and being at the moment with nature or that scene in perfection.

Take note that many proper nouns have \'the\' before them but not all. Your piece of writing is excellent. Thank you for the time, diligence, and brilliance you put into your work always.

-T. Donna~

Good evening, Donna.
>> Correct!

As I told you, we had visitors today.
>> Correct!

We tried to teach our hospital\'s system, and they seemed to be satisfied.
>> Correct!

So, I feel so good now even if I don\'t have energies at all.
>> Correct!
Or: So, I feel so good now even if I don\'t have energy at all.

Meanwhile, you asked me about the beautiful place I have seen.
>> Correct!

I have seen beautiful coast in Jeju island and East coast in Korea.
>> I have seen a beautiful coast in Jeju Island and the East coast in Korea.

Jeju island is surrounded by Sea, So we can see the sea in any directions.
>> Jeju island is surrounded by sea, so we can see the sea in any direction.

And East coast have a real blue sea.
>> And, the East coast have a real blue sea.

That\'s because the sea in East coast is very deep and clean.
>> That\'s because the sea in the East coast is very deep and clean.

Another nice view is my village.
>> Correct!

If you stay the room which is height in Song-do city, you can enjoy to see a gorgeous night sight.
>> If you stay in the room which is in the height in Song-do City, you can enjoy to see the gorgeous night sight.

Looking down the city from the height, you can see a central park, newly constructed buildings, apartment, and sea.
>> Correct!

They are huge, beautiful and clean.
>> Correct!
Or: They are huge, beautiful, and clean.

Likewise, I have seen the beautiful places in other countries.
>> Correct!

Among of them, Cancun and Guam have nice beaches, I think.
>> Correct!

How about you?
>> Correct!

I want to know your experiences.
>> Correct!

Now I have to go home.
>> Correct!

Thank you.
>> Correct!

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

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