homework
학생이 쓴 원문
I\'ve heard that there\'s no one who\'s useless somewhere, but I don\'t think that absolutely.
people of usual think that they work productively and how to live for tomorrow. even if they are exhausted their life or job.
However people who are useless don\'t think tomorrow. In other words, they don\'t set a goal in their future. I think \"Chul Gu\" is that people. Chul Gu is korean BJ. I think he has an adverse effect on many student. so I hate him. but he has a lovable daughter. In Korea, this is excellent sentence \"Children are the mirror of their parents\". It is rarely incorrect. So I hope he sets a good example for his daughter and other children too.
(If you read my writing, you think my idea is rough a little. However, Chul gu has caused so many social problems that it appears in the Korean news. He does Afreeca tv and Youtube mainly. I think negative effect of social media, of course SNS is useful for people though. like double-edged sword)
강사 첨삭
Thank you for taking the time to write a very nice complete composition, [이름]. You did fantastic! I am very happy that you were able share a lot of information about your opinions and point of view! Great job [이름]! I\'m very proud of you. :)
>> I\'ve heard that there are no useless people in the world, however I don\'t think that that is absolutely true.
people of usual think that they work productively and how to live for tomorrow. even if they are exhausted their life or job.
people of usual think that they work productively and how to live for tomorrow. even if they are exhausted their life or job.
>> People usually think that they need to work productively to live for tomorrow, even if they are exhausted of their lives or jobs.
However people who are useless don\'t think tomorrow.
However people who are useless don\'t think tomorrow.
>> However, people who are useless don\'t think of tomorrow.
In other words, they don\'t set a goal in their future.
>> Correct.
I think \"Chul Gu\" is that people.
>> For me, that person is Chul Gu.
Chul Gu is korean BJ.
>> Chul Gu is a korean Broadcast Jockey.
I think he has an adverse effect on many student. so I hate him.
>> The reason why I dislike him is because I think he has an adverse effect on students.
but he has a lovable daughter.
>> Correct. OR But he has a lovable daughter.
In Korea, this is excellent sentence \"Children are the mirror of their parents\".
>> In Korea, we believe that \"Children are the mirrors of their parents\".
It is rarely incorrect.
>> Correct.
So I hope he sets a good example for his daughter and other children too.
>> Correct.
If you read my writing, you think my idea is rough a little.
>> If you\'ll read what I wrote, you\'ll think my idea is a bit rough.
However, Chul gu has caused so many social problems that it appears in the Korean news.
>> However, Chul Gu has caused so many social problems that have already appeared in the Korean news.
He does Afreeca tv and Youtube mainly.
>> He mainly does Afreeca TV and Youtube.
I think negative effect of social media, of course SNS is useful for people though. like double-edged sword
>> I think that there a negative effects of social media, but SNS is indeed useful for people it\'s like a double-edged sword.
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