Homework

2023-01-17 · 첨삭 강사 Donna

학생이 쓴 원문

Hello, T.Donna. As always, I had a hectic day. As you know that, 4 staffs told me that they wanted to resign soon. Dr.MJ was really mad at two of them, because one took a responsibility of our information desk and the other was a nursery dept. manager, and we trusted them to stay with us for a long time. You know what? The nursery dept. manager took a lesson from me for several months. Thus, I was so disappointed with her. Meanwhile Dr. [Name] yelled at desk manager in the morning conference. (Nursery manager was off today.) After that, I talked to her for a long time, and I tried to turn her mind back. She didn\'t want to change her decision, so we couldn\'t help but let her leave today. Luckily, rest of them, I mean two staffs, decided to stay until next month. Thus, we should train new staffs ASAP. Tomorrow, another storm will come. I mean the nursery dept. manager. I am dreaming a good clinic for both of employers and employees. That means no more resignation, I think. See you.

강사 첨삭

Good morning, Dr. [이름]!

It is really a sad situation to see well-trained staff leaving because of discontent and other valid or invalid reasons. Mainly, it all boils down to financial or economic reasons. In your case, it is yet to be determined because every staff member has a different reason all the time. I am sure that if one stays for a longer period of time, they will learn and eventually improve their economic condition. Nowadays, the most expensive things are loyalty and consistency, I suppose.

Anyway, if you feel disappointed, that is natural. Yet, you have to stay focused and look beyond the matter by training more and more each time until one great person handles the position. It should become spontaneous for you from now on. Give them a sense of pride and dignity for the task they do no matter how small or big it may be. Just like your dream of no staff leaving- dreams actually come true. There are ways to make people stay and the answer is sometimes very simple. If you know the answer, you should never ignore it.

All of my grammar suggestions below were either underlined or deleted. Pay attention to them by reading each carefully. Then, thank you for your loyalty and consistency to your English homework, they are highly commendable!

Catch you later.

-T. Donna~

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

As always, I had a hectic day.
>> Correct!

As you know that, 4 staffs told me that they wanted to resign soon.
>> As you know, four of the staff told me that they wanted to resign soon.

Dr.MJ was really mad at two of them, because one took a responsibility of our information desk and the other was a nursery dept. manager, and we trusted them to stay with us for a long time.
>> Dr.MJ was really mad at the two of them, because one took the responsibility of our information desk and the other was a nursery dept. manager, and we trusted them to stay with us for a long time.
~ Great attempt for a complex sentence! 

You know what?
>> Correct!

The nursery dept. manager took a lesson from me for several months.
>> Correct!
Or: department (SPELL OUT)

Thus, I was so disappointed with her.
>> Correct!

Meanwhile Dr. [Name] yelled at desk manager in the morning conference. (Nursery manager was off today.)
>> Meanwhile Dr. [Name] yelled at the Desk Manager in the morning conference. (The Nursery Manager was off today.)

After that, I talked to her for a long time, and I tried to turn her mind back.
>> Correct!

She didn\'t want to change her decision, so we couldn\'t help but let her leave today.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Luckily, rest of them, I mean two staffs, decided to stay until next month.
>> Luckily, the rest of them (I mean two staff) decided to stay until next month.

Thus, we should train new staffs ASAP.
>> Thus, we should train the new staff ASAP.

Tomorrow, another storm will come.
>> Correct!

I mean the nursery dept. manager.
>> Correct!
Or: department 

I am dreaming a good clinic for both of employers and employees.
>> I am dreaming of a good clinic for both of employers and employees.

That means no more resignation, I think.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!

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