Homework

2023-02-10 · 첨삭 강사 Donna

학생이 쓴 원문

Hi, there. It’s almost midnight. I am on my way home. I am not sure you remembered the clinic which joined our franchise last year. The clinic actually didn’t well, so the doctor there wanted to change the clinic, and then he decided to join us. So what? The income of the clinic went high and made a new record last month. Thus, the doctor invited us to appreciate. Because Dr.MJ had another promise, I joined the celebration meeting alone. We had a great time, as expected. There were other doctors who also joined our franchise. And we discussed about the treatment of difficult pigmentation case. Through the conversation, I learned about many things. Maybe I can adapt new protocol in my clinic tomorrow. After arriving my home, I should do something about our new clinic. In fact, I need your help. I will ask some kind of room’s name tomorrow morning. That’s because we have to decide all room’s name in both Korean and English ASAP. See you in the morning. Good night.

강사 첨삭

Happy Firday, Dr. [이름]!

It was great helping you out naming all of your rooms today. You already know many of the room\'s names and I hope that the signages are going to be accurate. So, you have to type them carfully so the maker can do it perfectly. Office names are markers to lead your patients systematically and efficiently so that they can get their treaments quickly.

Your other franchise needs to learn your techniques to be able to reach their target profit. Well, cheers once again to your success! Your business model is doing well and it has to be even better in the future. Your ability to adapt and keep yourself abreast with the latest trends in dermacare and technology will always be your edge in this business.

You have worked so hard and done so much for the last six months. All of these efforts are reaching their fruition in your new clinic. Thus, careful and strategicsteps need to betaken each day so brace yourself for next month.

This composition presents a smooth transition and arrives at a very good resolution. Study a few sentences that have syntax (word order) suggestions. Thank you for yourt excellence!

Have a blast this weekend!

-T. Donna~

Hi, there.
>> Hi there.

It’s almost midnight.
>> Correct!

I am on my way home.
>> Correct!

I am not sure you remembered the clinic which joined our franchise last year.
>> I am not sure if you remember the clinic which joined our franchise last year.

The clinic actually didn’t well, so the doctor there wanted to change the clinic, and then he decided to join us.
>> The clinic didn\'t actually do well, so the doctor there wanted to change the clinic and then he decided to join us.
Or:  The clinic didn\'t actually do well, so the doctor there wanted to change the clinic and decided to join us.

So what?
>> Correct!

The income of the clinic went high and made a new record last month.
>> Correct!

Thus, the doctor invited us to appreciate.
>> Thus, the doctor invited us to celebrate.

Because Dr.MJ had another promise, I joined the celebration meeting alone.
>> Correct!

We had a great time, as expected.
>> Correct!

There were other doctors who also joined our franchise.
>> Correct!

And we discussed about the treatment of difficult pigmentation case.
>> And we discussed about the treatment of difficult pigmentation cases.

Through the conversation, I learned about many things.
>> Correct!

Maybe I can adapt new protocol in my clinic tomorrow.
>> Maybe I can adapt the new protocols in my clinic tomorrow.

After arriving my home, I should do something about our new clinic.
>> Correct!

In fact, I need your help.
>> Correct!

I will ask some kind of room’s name tomorrow morning.
>> I will ask some kind of rooms names tomorrow morning.

That’s because we have to decide all room’s name in both Korean and English ASAP.
>> That’s because we have to decide all of the room’s names in both Korean and English ASAP.

See you in the morning.
>> Correct!

Good night.
>> Correct!

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