Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
Hello, T.Donna.
How was your weekend?
There was a bad event.
One of my senior doctor\'s father passed away suddenly.
Thus, I went to the funeral to comfort my senior.
He told me that his father had no medical history and always cared for the health well; He didn\'t smoke, drink, and he got annual check-up completely.
His father and mother lived together, but they slept seperately.
That\'s why his mother couldn\'t find him having a trouble immediately.
Sudden death typically is caused by heart failure or brain hemorrhage.
If someone who is near the patient calls the Emergency(119), the rate of survival will be increased.
Many people who are old live alone.
We need a family and friend, if we don\'t want to die alone.
Anyway, yesterday my wife and kids went to the wife\'s parents\' house for celebrating Parents\' day.
They will come home soon.
When I want to celebrate something, I usually invite my friends or family.
We actually have to invite many people to celebrate our house moving.
See you.
강사 첨삭
Hi, Dr. [이름]!
Last Saturday, I emceed a debut of a rich family, I stood up for more than four hours and my feet were sore but now, they are perfectly fine. Everyone had a great time and I am glad they did.
I am sorry to hear about your senior doctor\'s father. Death remains one of life\'s greatest mysteries. Often death is shocking and unexpected. Family and friends suffer the pain of loss. It is like a thief in the night that steals life. But then, we all know that it is a part of our biological results and it is inevitable. Even without medical histories, as you shared in class, his heart enlargement may be the main causes. Nevertheless, may he rest in eternal peace.
Indeed, if we do not want to die alone, we can always have a family who can take care of us until the end. To have one, we have to be one.
Definitely, your little girls had a blast during the weekend. Chnaging environment for children helps them grow as resilient, flexible, and smart people.
Finally, in inviting friends, we always want warm, thoughtful, kind, and genrous friends we had overtime. Again, to find good friends, we have to be a very good one as well.
My grammar suggestions contain pronouns, diction, as well as capitalizatin. Read them below. Congratulations on your long and interesting sentences! Have a good Monday then.
-T. Donna~
>> Correct!
How was your weekend?
>> Correct!
There was a bad event.
>> Correct!
One of my senior doctor\'s father passed away suddenly.
>> Correct!
Thus, I went to the funeral to comfort my senior.
>> Correct!
He told me that his father had no medical history and always cared for the health well; He didn\'t smoke, drink, and he got annual check-up completely.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!
Or: He told me that his father had no medical history and always cared for his health well; he didn\'t smoke, drink, and he got his annual check-up completely.
His father and mother lived together, but they slept seperately.
His father and mother lived together, but they slept seperately.
>> Correct!
That\'s why his mother couldn\'t find him having a trouble immediately.
>> Correct!
Sudden death typically is caused by heart failure or brain hemorrhage.
>> Correct!
If someone who is near the patient calls the Emergency(119), the rate of survival will be increased.
If someone who is near the patient calls the Emergency(119), the rate of survival will be increased.
>> Correct!
Many people who are old live alone.
>> Correct!
We need a family and friend, if we don\'t want to die alone.
>> Correct!
Anyway, yesterday my wife and kids went to the wife\'s parents\' house for celebrating Parents\' day.
>> Anyway, yesterday my wife and kids went to my wife\'s parents\' house for celebrating Parents\' Day.
Or: Anyway, yesterday my wife and kids went to my in-law\'s house to celebrate Parents\' Day.
They will come home soon.
>> Correct!
When I want to celebrate something, I usually invite my friends or family.
>> Correct!
We actually have to invite many people to celebrate our house moving.
We actually have to invite many people to celebrate our house moving.
>> We actually have to invite many people to celebrate our house transfer.
See you.
See you.
>> Correct!
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.