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2023-10-27 · 첨삭 강사 Faith

학생이 쓴 원문

I want to go to Camino de Santiago.It is famous for pilgrimage trail of Europe. There is no special reason of my religion. I just want to walk every day escaping from my daily life and see beautiful European nature. Thereby I’d like to be in simple mind and life. I hope it gives me inner peace and happiness.

강사 첨삭

That will be incredible, Heather! I will also pray that you will always have a blissful mind.-Faith-
I want to go to Camino de Santiago.
>> CORRECT
It is famous for pilgrimage trail of Europe. 
>> CORRECT
OR It is a famous pilgrimage trail in Europe. 
There is no special reason of my religion.
>> My interest in going there has no special reason related to religion.
I just want to walk every day escaping from my daily life and see beautiful European nature. 
>> I just want to walk there every day escaping from my daily life and see beautiful European nature. 
Thereby I’d like to be in simple mind and life. 
>> Thereby, I would like to have a simple mind and life. 
I hope it gives me inner peace and happiness.
>> CORRECT
OR May it gives me serenity and joy.

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