homework
학생이 쓴 원문
I think that young child are engaged in paid work is wrong. They are not form their personality and should learn the basic knowledge. However, I think middle or high school students can earn the money by working. They can get wisdom and responsibility by working with people. They can also experience how adults live the world.
강사 첨삭
Hi Soo An!
Thank you for trying today.
You were very responsive in your answer.
I look forward to our class!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I think that young child are engaged in paid work is wrong.
>> I think that young children engaging in paid work is wrong.
They are not form their personality and should learn the basic knowledge.
>> They have not formed their own personality yet and they should learn basic knowledge first.
However, I think middle or high school students can earn the money by working.
>> However, I think middle or high school students can earn money by working.
They can get wisdom and responsibility by working with people.
>> They can get wisdom and a sense of responsibility by working with people.
They can also experience how adults live the world.
>> They can also experience how adults live in the world.
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