homework

2023-12-22 · 첨삭 강사 Camille

학생이 쓴 원문

~ Writing Task: Please answer the question: Have you ever had any problems sleeping? I don\'t have a big problems sleeping. But, I think I have to reduce using my smartphone before I go to sleep. I don\'t know how many time passed by using smartphone before I go to bed. I always chat with my friends or watch YouTube videos. Everybody knows well, it\'s not a good habit. And it doesn\'t mean anything. Smartphone use in the dark place lead to poor eyesight and ruin my sleeping pattern. To improve, I reduce smartphone using time, and I wear a sleep mask. But, when alarm rings from my smartphone, I have no choice. Because I wonder about what kind of alarm it is. And, I miss the timing of my sleeping time.

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever had any problems sleeping?

I don\'t have a big problems sleeping.
>> I don\'t have big problems when sleeping.
But, I think I have to reduce using my smartphone before I go to sleep.
>> CORRECT!
I don\'t know how many time passed by using smartphone before I go to bed.
>> I don\'t know how long time has passed by using smartphone before I go to bed.
I always chat with my friends or watch YouTube videos.
>> CORRECT!
Everybody knows well, it\'s not a good habit.
>> CORRECT!
And it doesn\'t mean anything.
>> CORRECT!
Smartphone use in the dark place lead to poor eyesight and ruin my sleeping pattern.
>> Smartphones used in the dark lead to poor eyesight and ruin my sleeping pattern.
OR >> Using smartphones in the dark leads to poor eyesight and ruins sleeping patterns.
To improve, I reduce smartphone using time, and I wear a sleep mask.
>> To improve, I reduce my smartphone\'s using time, and I wear a sleeping mask.
But, when alarm rings from my smartphone, I have no choice.
>> CORRECT!
Because I wonder about what kind of alarm it is.
>> CORRECT!
And, I miss the timing of my sleeping time.
>>And, I miss my old sleeping time.

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