Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
I put a photo
강사 첨삭
Good day, [이름]!
I like the way you express your thoughts on this issue and very good for choosing correct words. Keep expanding your knowledge as well as on the vocabulary part.
T. Aki~
First of all, I wouldn\'t like expanding the number of doctors, because it cause a lot of complicated problems.
>>> First of all, I wouldn\'t like to expand the number of doctors, because it causes a lot of complicated problems.
For example, there are going to be increasing of medical insurance fee, getting much more competitive medical field between doctors.
>>> For example, there are going to be increasing medical insurance fees, creating a much more competitive medical field between doctors.
If I made a policy about medical field, I would focus on helping provincial hospitals_ It also includes expanding essential medical facilities.
>>> If I made a policy about the medical field, I would focus on helping provincial hospitals_ It also includes expanding essential medical facilities.
It\'s going to be not only expanding budget but making mandatory of sharing medical technology.
>>> It\'s going to be not only expanding the budget but also making it mandatory to share medical technology.
In reality, there is a technical gap between provincial and regular hospitals.
>>> CORRECT!
So the medical accidents in province tend to happen more often then regular hospital.
>>> So medical accidents in provinces tend to happen more often than in regular hospitals.
It\'s not a main purpose of doctors what they keep secret their own technology to earn a lot of money.
>>> It\'s not the main purpose of doctors they keep their technology to earn a lot of money.
if they share their brand-new technology, the medical accident rate could decrease.
>>> CORRECT!
Actually, it\'s infeasible sharing all technology as transparent, of course the doctors on regular hospital are going to oppose this policy, but I believe we could find a compromise point, then the standard of medical technology in Korea is going to be much stronger then now.
>>> It\'s unfeasible to share all technology as transparent, of course, the doctors in regular hospitals are going to oppose this policy, but I believe we could find a compromise point, then the standard of medical technology in Korea is going to be much stronger than now.
I hope they can overcome well between doctors group and government in what way_ expanding or not.
>>> I hope they can overcome well between doctors group and government in what way_ expanding or not.
If government decide to expand, hope they suggest proper policy what the other country did.
>>> If the government decides to expand, hope they suggest the proper policy that the other country did.
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