Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
I think people who are 12 years old can ba allowed on social media sites. Thier brain is grow, they have many friends and they want to see world , then social media is good way.
강사 첨삭
Hello, Henry!
Considering their brain development and the need for guidance, it\'s important to approach social media use for 12-year-olds with caution. Supervised access and education on responsible online behavior are key priorities.
~ Teacher Maxine
>> I think people who are 12 years old can be allowed on social media sites.
Thier brain is grow, they have many friends and they want to see world , then social media is good way.
>> Their brains are growing, they have many friends, and they want to see the world; therefore, social media is a good way.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.