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2024-07-22 · 첨삭 강사 Aki

학생이 쓴 원문

Thank you for concerning me. I have ever treated me with acupuncture. We have many oriental hospital too. Needle can give impact to my nerves. So It can help me a little to numb my body. I think there is nothing my deases can treat completely. But there are many other things to relive my numb. Massage,taking a bath, exercising include acupuncture. I satisfied with that. Fortunately, I can afford to do that. If I am greedy more I can lost another thing. I think everyone has the same fortune and It might be my destiny.

강사 첨삭

Hello, Ms. [이름]ny!
Thank you for sharing this. 
There are certain illnesses where specific treatments are done. you mentioned that you have a disease, then take care of your body We only have one life, live it to the full but do not compromise your health :)
T. Aki~

Thank you for concerning me.
>>> Thank you for being concerned about me.

I have ever treated me with acupuncture.
>>> I haven\'t tried being treated with acupuncture.

We have many oriental hospitals too.
>>> CORRECT!

Needle can give impact to my nerves.
>>> Needles can have an impact on my nerves.

So It can help me a little to numb my body.
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> So it can bring numbness to my body.

I think there is nothing my deases can treat completely.
>>>  I think there is nothing that can treat my disease completely.


But there are many other things to relive my numb.
>>> But there are many other things to relieve my numbness.

Massage,taking a bath, exercising include acupuncture.
>>>  Like having a message, taking a bath, exercising, and acupuncture can help too.

I satisfied with that.
>> I am satisfied with that.

Fortunately, I can afford to do that.
>>> CORRECT!

If I am greedy more I can lost another thing.
>>>  If I am greedy more I can lose another thing.

I think everyone has the same fortune and It might be my destiny.
>>> CORRECT!

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