Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
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강사 첨삭
Wishing you a fantastic week Yu [이름]! I am particularly impressed with your discussion on the issue of whether school teachers should be more responsible for the social and intellectual development of students t[이름] parents. You have generally added supporting arguments and necessary point of views. Good job!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Nowadays people’s life is c[이름]ging rapidly and as a result, family relationships are affected. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience.
Q people’s life c[이름]ging rapidly
A a sense of belonging to the family
D psychological instability ex) stress of fast c[이름]ging cultures
S focus on family boding for their identity
There are pros and cons for the opinion about whether people’s life c[이름]ging rapidly is beneficial to themselves.
>>> The opinion on whether rapid c[이름]ges in people\'s lives are beneficial to them has both pros and cons.
Some people think that people can suffer from psychological instability because of stress of fast c[이름]ging cultures.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, in my opinion, it is required for themselves to focus on family bonding for their identity, considering a sense of belonging to the family by people’s fast c[이름]ging life.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It can be said that focus on family bonding for their identity is not a selection but a necessity in the aspect that people can pursue a sense of belonging to the family.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
On the one [이름]d, people’s life c[이름]ging rapidly can make it possible for themselves to moan under psychological instability.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Even though there are other factors for it, nothing is more fundamental factor t[이름] psychological instability.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
According to Korean Times, one of the most renowned newspapers in Korea, 85.2% of the high school students, who have experienced stress of fast c[이름]ging cultures, could be exposed to psychological instability.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It shows how strongly people’s life c[이름]ging rapidly affects psychological instability in a negative way.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
On the other [이름]d, people’s fast c[이름]ging life can allow themselves to a sense of belonging to the family.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Despite the fact that c[이름]ging life style rapidly is not the only element for it, it is the most invaluable opportunity that can bring about a sense of belonging to the family.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Let’s take ‘Happy Together’, a family membership program by Daejeon City Government in Korea, to show how c[이름]ging life style rapidly affects a sense of belonging to the family as an example.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The program has contributed to a sense of belonging to the family by people’s fast c[이름]ging life style.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
As a result, it could develop the family identity compared to previous years.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
As we can see in the example, fast c[이름]ging lifestyle can play a significant role for a sense of belonging to the family.
>>> As seen in the example, a fast-c[이름]ging lifestyle can significantly impact one\'s sense of belonging within the family.
In conclusion, a sense of belonging to the family can be considered the positive aspects of the issue, and thus governments should not hesitate to make family membership programs for the family bonding.
>>> In conclusion, a sense of belonging to the family can be seen as one of the positive aspects of this issue. Therefore, governments should not hesitate to implement family-oriented programs that strengthen family bonds.
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