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2025-02-10 · 첨삭 강사 Jeny

학생이 쓴 원문

We have appearance discrimination implicitly. Of course people in any country like pretty and handsome people, but I think Korean like them especially. They do friendly for handsome and pretty people even if they are same-sex to them. And korean people want to be an attractive person. So they have the plastic surgery or diet. Maintaining their appearance is good for them, but someone has a lot of plastic surgery or starves to excess to be like idol. It is very problem. Another discrimination is about job. Korean people tend to ignore some job which need to do physical labor. Their jobs are also important, but some people think that poor and foolish people do hard work like cleaning, delivery. So they talk down to them, and ignore. Sometimes, people said \" Study hard , if you don\'t want to be like them.\" to their kids in front of that people.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]!!!


I can see you\'re trying hard to learn. Your discipline is good, keep it up. Keep applying in your daily life what you learn everyday. Knowledge will give you power. Power will give the confidence that you need.  You can do it, if others can, so can you. Enjoy your day! ^^
T. Jeny


We have appearance discrimination implicitly.
>>correct
 Of course people in any country like pretty and handsome people, but I think Korean like them especially. 
>>Of course, people in any country like pretty and handsome people, but I think Koreans like them especially. 
They do friendly for handsome and pretty people even if they are same-sex to them.
>>They are friendly to handsome and pretty people even if they are of the same gender.
 And korean people want to be an attractive person. 
>>Koreans want to be attractive. 
So they have the plastic surgery or diet. 
>>So they have plastic surgery or go on a diet. 
Maintaining their appearance is good for them, but someone has a lot of plastic surgery or starves to excess to be like idol. It is very problem.
>>For them, maintaining their appearance is the most important thing, but some of them underwent a lot of plastic surgeries or starved excessively to be like an idol. It is a very big problem.
Another discrimination is about job. 
>>Another discrimination is about jobs.
Korean people tend to ignore some job which need to do physical labor. 
>>Korean people tend to ignore some jobs that need to do physical labor. 
Their jobs are also important, but some people think that poor and foolish people do hard work like cleaning, delivery. 
>>Their jobs are also important, but some people think that poor and foolish people do hard work like cleaning and delivery. 
So they talk down to them, and ignore. 
>>So they talk down to them and ignore them. 
Sometimes, people said \" Study hard , if you don\'t want to be like them.\" to their kids in front of that people.
>>Sometimes, people say, \" Study hard if you don\'t want to be like them.\" to their kids in front of those people.

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