Homework

2025-02-10 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY: ESSAY: It is believed that secondary school children should study international news as one of their school subjects. Others think that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinions. Studying international news can tell a lot. You can see international trends, know countries that are disadvantageous to you, and know the future. However, studying such international news is less likely to change your country. However, I feel that I need to study like that. Understanding the flow means being able to grasp the future, and through this, you can see that what needs to be carried forward and what benefits are high.

강사 첨삭

Hi there Lee! Thanks for doing your homework! Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and effectively presents your argument. You’ve shown strong analytical skills and made good connections between ideas. While your essay is well-developed, you could strengthen the clarity of your argument by incorporating more specific examples in the second paragraph.

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

Studying international news can tell a lot.

>>> Studying international news can give us a lot of learnings.

You can see international trends, know countries that are disadvantageous to you, and know the future.

>>> CORRECT~!^^

OR>>> You can identify global trends, recognize countries that may pose disadvantages, and gain insights into the future.
However, studying such international news is less likely to change your country.

>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, I feel that I need to study like that.

>>> Therefore, I feel that I need to study it.

Understanding the flow means being able to grasp the future, and through this, you can see that what needs to be carried forward and what benefits are high.

>>> CORRECT~!^^

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