Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hello, Ms. [Name][이름]! Thank you for doing your homework. Please check on the following:
How did you hear about the position?
Because I wanted to further develop my career in overseas sales, I was looking for related job opportunities and came across your hiring posting.
>>Because I wanted to further develop my career in overseas sales, I was looking for related job opportunities and came across your job posting.
I had known about your company for quite some time, so when I fortunately saw this job opening, I was more than thrilled to see that this job position had become available.
>>I had known about your company for quite some time, so when I saw this job opening, I was more than thrilled that this position had become available.
***
I was looking for opportunities to further develop my career in overseas sales, and that’s when I came across your job posting [you may make this more specific]. I had already been familiar with your company and had a very positive impression of it, so I was genuinely excited when I saw this position become available. It felt like a great opportunity that matched both my experience and career goals.
Tell me about a time you solved a problem to achieve a goal.
I participated in VITAFOODS ASIA in Bangkok and operated our booth to find new buyers.
>>Correct
During the first exhibition, it was difficult to attract buyers because our brand awareness was low.
>>Correct
To improve this, I analyzed buyers’ interests by country and changed my sales approach based on each market’s needs.
>>Correct
I also increased product sample distribution and continued follow-up communication after the exhibition.
>>Correct
As a result, we increased buyer consultations and successfully secured a new export contract with a major distributor in Mongolia.
>>Correct
Through this experience, I learned the importance of customized communication and relationship management in global sales.
>>Correct
***
One example was when I participated in VITAFOODS ASIA in Bangkok to find new overseas buyers. At first, it was difficult to attract buyers because our brand awareness was still low. To improve the results, I analyzed buyer interests by country and adjusted my sales approach based on each market’s needs. I also increased product sample distribution and maintained follow-up communication after the exhibition. As a result, we increased buyer consultations and secured a new export contract with a major distributor in Mongolia. Through this experience, I learned the importance of customized communication and strong relationship management in global sales.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.