homework

2012-06-27 · 첨삭 강사 Dianne

학생이 쓴 원문

Frankly speaking, I had never had a person who I looked up. But after I joined my company, I have a person who I am looking up. She is my boss. She is even 1 year older than my mom. She is kindness and has a paitience. I am not sure that the reason why she has like these characters, I think that it's the religion which she belives in. I don't have a religion. Actually, it's a burden for me. Paying a money ,attending meetings are annoying things to me. When I was a child, there are some survey that were looking for what she or he was. The survey paper had a lot of questions. Among them, one question was "who is your favorite person that you are looking up?". At that time, I just was only a elementary school student, so I wasn't mautre. So always the answer was a great man of the past. For example "you-goan-soon", "sin-sa-im-dang"...etc. There was no choice but fill the blank with anything. Some students wrote therir parent's names.

강사 첨삭

We actually choose someone to look up to as an inspiration. I think it adds meaning to our lives. I am happy that you have found someone whom you can consider as an inspiration. It doesn't matter if you have a religion or not, what matters is that you don't hurt other people. Have a good night and sleep well! T. Dianne Frankly speaking, I had never had a person who I looked up.>>Frankly speaking, I have never had a person whom I looked up to.But after I joined my company, I have a person who I am looking up.>>But after I joined my company, I have a person whom I look up to. Or: >>But after I joined my company, I met a person whom I look up to.She is my boss.>>CorrectShe is even 1 year older than my mom.>>CorrectShe is kindness and has a paitience.>>She is kind and has long patience. Or: >>She is kind and patient.I am not sure that the reason why she has like these characters,>>I am not sure of the reason why she has characteristics like these.I think that it\'s the religion which she belives in.>>I think that it\'s the religion which she believes in.I don\'t have a religion.>>CorrectActually, it\'s a burden for me.>>CorrectPaying a money ,attending meetings are annoying things to me.>>Paying an amount of money and attending meetings are annoying things to me. Or: >>Giving money and attending meetings are annoying things to me.When I was a child, there are some survey that were looking for what she or he was.>>When I was a child, there were some surveys that were looking for who you really are.The survey paper had a lot of questions.>>CorrectAmong them, one question was \"who is your favorite person that you are looking up?\".>>One of them was \"Who is your favorite person that you are looking up to?\".At that time, I just was only a elementary school student, so I wasn\'t mautre.>>At that time, I was only an elementary school student, so I wasn\'t matured.So always the answer was a great man of the past.>>So my answer was always a great man of the past.For example \"you-goan-soon\", \"sin-sa-im-dang\"...etc. >>For example, You-Goan-Soon, Sin-Sa-Im-Dang, etc

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