Homework 2
학생이 쓴 원문
This phenomenon is a negative factor in society because opportunities must be fairly provided to everyone. If companies hire people based on their appearance, they will lose talented people who are willing to work for them. For example, in the US, it is illegal to require a CV with one’s picture in order to prevent unfair hiring. Many American experts also say that doing this is wholesome for society because it ensure that providing a opportunity to everyone. Therefore, it is apparent that affecting one’s appearance to many areas in society can be a negative factor.
In conclusion, I believe that physical appearance play an important role in many areas of life because this can be a short way to success for people who have a ideal appearance, and I consider this phenomenon as a negative factor because this can lead to the monopoly of opportunities by people who have a attractive appearance.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
You really did a good job!
I like the examples you have given.
Your statements are very clear.
Good job!
Keep it up!
~~ Teacher Sharon
This phenomenon is a negative factor in society because opportunities must be fairly provided to everyone. >> Correct
If companies hire people based on their appearance, they will lose talented people who are willing to work for them.
>> Correct
For example, in the US, it is illegal to require a CV with one’s picture in order to prevent unfair hiring.
>> Correct
Many American experts also say that doing this is wholesome for society because it ensure that providing a opportunity to everyone.
>> Many American experts also say that doing this is good as a whole for society because it ensures the provision of opportunities to everyone.
Therefore, it is apparent that affecting one’s appearance to many areas in society can be a negative factor.
>> Therefore, it is apparent that the effect of one’s appearance on many areas in society can be a negative factor.
In conclusion, I believe that physical appearance play an important role in many areas of life because this can be a short way to success for people who have a ideal appearance, and I consider this phenomenon as a negative factor because this can lead to the monopoly of opportunities by people who have a attractive appearance.
In conclusion, I believe that physical appearance play an important role in many areas of life because this can be a short way to success for people who have a ideal appearance, and I consider this phenomenon as a negative factor because this can lead to the monopoly of opportunities by people who have a attractive appearance.
>> In conclusion, I believe that physical appearance plays an important role in many areas of life because this can be a short way to success for people who have an ideal appearance, and I consider this phenomenon as a negative factor because this can lead to the monopoly of opportunities by people who have an attractive appearance.
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