Homework 2

2019-10-10 · 첨삭 강사 Kate

학생이 쓴 원문

1.what do you want to accomplish in the first thirty days of this job? ->If I work for the Timor-Leste Treasury Department, I will first try to build friendly relations with local employees for a month and will focus on collecting information on the national debt risk management system. 2.What has been the most rewarding experience of your career thus far? ->I have been a branch manager for 14 years at Hana Bank. As a branch manager, I have experienced a number of volunteer activities in the community. It was worthwhile to experience social contribution to the community through financial and talent donations. 3.Who has impacted you most in your career? -> My father passed away when I was 11 years old. I was the youngest of four sons and two daughters. I grew up under the guidance and influence of my older brother after my father died

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]!
I want to commend you for your well-written compositions. See you tomorrow for our last day! ^^
~~Teacher Kate

1.what do you want to accomplish in the first thirty days of this job?
->If I work for the Timor-Leste Treasury Department, I will first try to build friendly relations with local employees for a month and will focus on collecting information on the national debt risk management system.
>>CORRECT!
2.What has been the most rewarding experience of your career thus far?
->I have been a branch manager for 14 years at Hana Bank. As a branch manager, I have experienced a number of volunteer activities in the community. It was worthwhile to experience social contribution to the community through financial and talent donations.
>>I have been a branch manager for 14 years at Hana Bank. As a branch manager, I have experienced a number of volunteer activities in the community. It was worthwhile to experience contributing to the community through financial and talent donations.
3.Who has impacted you most in your career?
-> My father passed away when I was 11 years old. I was the youngest of four sons and two daughters. I grew up under the guidance and influence of my older brother after my father died.
>>CORRECT!

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