HOMEWORK_200226
학생이 쓴 원문
HOMEWORK:
Writing Exercise: Write an email to Wendy Baker welcoming her as a new agent of HYT
Dear [Name].Baker
Hello. This is [Name].
I heard you will move to our HYT Sales team from March.
I\'m happy to work with you. We are targeting the new market share which is the women who is 20s~30s.
You have a career of agent for 4 years at same feild. I also heard you have experience that selling at department store.
It would be really helpful if we can hear your opinion and advice.
Please let me know if you have any questions.
Thank you and best reagards,
YJ
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
You have already done this homework before.
I look forward to your other compositions.
Good Luck!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Hello.
>> Correct
This is [Name].
>> Correct
It\'s happy to hear that you will be an agent of HYT Sales.
It\'s happy to hear that you will be an agent of HYT Sales.
>> Correct
Now we are targeting the young age women who is 20s~30s.
Now we are targeting the young age women who is 20s~30s.
>> Now we are targeting young women in their 20s~30s.
It would be really helpful because you have a career as sales agent for 4 years at department.
It would be really helpful because you have a career as sales agent for 4 years at department.
>> It would be really helpful because you have a career as a sales agent for 4 years.
There are a lot of things that we want to hear your opinion and ideas.
There are a lot of things that we want to hear your opinion and ideas.
>> There are a lot of things where we want to hear your opinions and ideas.
Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions.
Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions.
>> Correct
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.