homework

PSY has been sing a song since 2000. I remember his first debut that it was very impressive not only me but other people because he was a diffrent than any other singers. His song and dance was very comic, funny and as you already know, he does not handsome. Handsome and pretty or beautiful is very important for our celebrities. So anybody doesn't expect his success. But, he was success at that time. Nowadays, his new album 'GANGMAN STYLE' is very success. He told he didn't expect these success, I think so too. SNS ;Facebok,Twitter and YOUTUBE; is the best way for support him. SNS is affected by our life in order to sharing our activities. We can more easier share for our hobby, life and communication. It is not affected by our sex, age, religion and territory. If you make more friends in all of the wolrd, just start SNS which will help you like PSY.

Hi There!

Your essay is good. You tried to express your admiration to Psy and your impression about technology. I hope that you will elaborate more of your ideas and thoughts when you make another essay. I still congratulate you for having a wonderful piece. Keep up the good work! Take care.

T.Jenny

 

PSY has been sing a song since 2000.

>>Psy has been singing a song since 2000.

I remember his first debut that it was very impressive not only me but other people because he was a diffrent than any other singers.

 >> I remember during his first debut, it was very impressive not only from me but from other people. He was different from other singers. 

His song and dance was very comic, funny and as you already know, he does not handsome.

>> His song and dance was funny but as you know, he\'s not handsome

>>or He\'s not handsome but his song and dance was funny and entertaining.

Handsome and pretty or beautiful is very important for our celebrities.

>> Being handsome or pretty is very important for celebrities. ( you can remove beautiful because they function the same with pretty, so just choose one, pretty or beautiful.)

So anybody doesn\'t expect his success. But, he was success at that time.

>> Nobody wasn\'t expecting his success. But he became successful at that time.

Nowadays, his new album \'GANGMAN STYLE\' is very success.

>> (This sentence is good just make success, sucessful.) Nowadays, his new album \"GANGMAN STYLE\" is very successful.

He told he didn\'t expect these success, I think so too.

>>He said, he didn\'t expect these success.

>>or He said that he didn\'t expect these accomplishment.

SNS ;Facebok,Twitter and YOUTUBE; is the best way for support him. SNS is affected by our life in order to sharing our activities.

>> SNS, Facebook, Twitter and Youtube are the best ways to support him. SNS affects our lives by sharing our activities.

We can more easier share for our hobby, life and communication.

>>We can share our hobbies, life and communicate easier. 

>>We can easily share our hobby, life and communicate with other people.

It is not affected by our sex, age, religion and territory.

>> Correct.

If you make more friends in all of the wolrd, just start SNS which will help you like PSY.

>> If you would like to make more friends all over the world, just start with SNS which will help you to gain friends  like Psy.