homework
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hello there!
I loved reading your composition. I have to say that I totally agree. The advancement of technology has been very fast. And although there are a lot of advantages, still, there are also some disadvantages. One of those is, of course, too much exposure on pornography and violent ads. Anyway, see you on Monday! Have a great weekend.
-T. Jeny-
15 years ago, we can just get ads\' informaion by TV or radio but nowadays, we can get it so much by internet or SNS.
>> Correct. Just make sure you put a comma after \'radio\'.
>> 15 years ago, we can just get ads\' information by TV or radio, but nowadays, we can get it so much by internet or SNS.
TV and radio limitted broadcast so it cannot contain sexual and violent ads.
>> TV and radio limits their broadcasting, so it cannot contain sexual and violent ads.
But, technology is more and more developing until now so we can get ads\' information everywhere by computer and smart phone even though you\'re in army or climb mountain.
>> But technology is more and more developing these days, so we can get ads\' information everywhere by computer and smart phone even though you\'re in army or you\'re mountain climbing.
Or >> But these days, technology is more and more developing, and so we can get any kind of information anytime, anywhere.
The problem is that those things cannot control ads that contain bad effection by us.
>> The problem, though, is that those things can not be controlled and they have bad effects on us.
It\'s the disadvantage.
>> Correct.
Meanwhile, ads can help to get information easy to us.
>> Meanwhile, these ways are easier means for us to be updated and for us to get necessary information.
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