homework

2012-11-26 · 첨삭 강사 Kelly

학생이 쓴 원문

Many young generations want to be a popular celebrities because they're living looks like very colorful and gorgeous. But, most of celebrities don't make money so much as they think. Only 1~2% celebrities can lots of make money and other celebrities make money less than salaried workers. So they have to get a part time job for living. I saw that most of model, comedian and movie star, who don't have enough reputation in their industies, only can make money 10,000USD at each year. It causes suicide themselves. Meanwhile, top celebrities have also own their problems like no privacy life or threat fan or depression. They cannot go out for date, they're always thinking about unstable future because popularity is always can change. Showing life of celebrities, it's the tip of an iceburg. So, I should advice people who have envy their life that don't trust showing, it's not all.

강사 첨삭

Good afternoon [이름]! Thank you for sharing your opinion about the life of celebrities. Everybody can learn from the essay that you wrote. I look forward to another essay from you. Anyway, see you again tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your day.

---Teacher Jeny---

Many young generations want to be a popular celebrities because they\'re living looks like very colorful and gorgeous.

>>Many of our young generations want to become a popular celebrity because celebrities look gorgeous and they have a colorful life.

But, most of celebrities don\'t make money so much as they think.

>> But most celebrities don\'t earn as much money as they think.

Only 1~2% celebrities can lots of make money and other celebrities make money less than salaried workers.

>> Only 1~2% of celebrities can earn lots of money while other celebrities make money less than salaried workers.

So they have to get a part time job for living.

>> So they have to get a part time job to survive.

I saw that most of model, comedian and movie star, who don\'t have enough reputation in their industies, only can make money 10,000USD at each year.

>> I noticed that models, comedians and other movie stars who are not famous only earn 10,000 US dollars each year.

It causes suicide themselves.

>> This is one of the reasons why many celebrities commit suicide.

Meanwhile, top celebrities have also own their problems like no privacy life or threat fan or depression.

>> Meanwhile, top celebrities have also problems because they have no privacy, they receive threats from a fan and depression.

They cannot go out for date, they\'re always thinking about unstable future because popularity is always can change.

>> They cannot go out for a date, they\'re always thinking about unstable future because their popularity is not permanent.

Showing life of celebrities, it\'s the tip of an iceburg.

>> The life of celebrities that I showed you is just a tip of an iceberg.

So, I should advice people who have envy their life that don\'t trust showing, it\'s not all.

>> So I advice the people who envy their lives to think twice.

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