Homework!

2013-01-21 · 첨삭 강사 Ritchel

학생이 쓴 원문

I said that I like the novel about chinese history last week. So, I talk to you about this novel. This novel based of Chinese history. this novel was named History of Three States or Three of Kingdom. Three states are exited in this story. First state was called 'WI'. WI's president is Jojo. He was fulled of ambition about unification. And He is a cold-hearted person. Second state was called 'CHOK' CHOk's president is Yubi. He was fulled of heartwarming. So, many people follow him. He was descended from ancient kingdom. Final state was called 'OH'. OH's presiedent is Songwon. He is righteous. Navy of OH is stronger than other state's navy. Because Big river was existed around of OH. So They are trained well. Those presidents are died. But each of Their Sons keep alive. Jobi of WI makes unified state as a result. Too many character was appeared in this story. So, I don't remember all of the character. I want more talk about it ,but this space is fulled.I talk to you reamin story later

강사 첨삭

GOOD MORNING, [이름]! You did a very good job with your homework today. I like how you were to explain to me the novel. Keep your ideas flowing! Take care! I said that I like the novel about chinese history last week. >>CORRECT! (Be careful with your proper nouns (capitalized) and your punctuation marks.) >>I said that I like the novel about Chinese history, last week.So, I talk to you about this novel. >>So, I will talk to you about this novel. >>I will discuss with you this novel.This novel based of Chinese history. >>This novel was based on Chinese history. this novel was named History of Three States or Three of Kingdom. >>This novel was named History of the Three States or Three Kingdoms. >>This novel was entitled, History of the Three States or Three Kingdoms.Three states are exited in this story. >>The three states were explained in this story.First state was called \'WI\'. >>CORRECT! >>The first state was called \'Wi\'. WI\'s president is Jojo. >>CORRECT! He was fulled of ambition about unification. >>He was full of ambitions about unification. And He is a cold-hearted person. >>He is a cold-hearted person.Second state was called \'CHOK\' CHOk\'s president is Yubi. >>The second state was called \'Chok\'. \'Chok\'s\' president was Yubi.  He was fulled of heartwarming. >>He is a warm-hearted person. So, many people follow him. >>Many people follow him. He was descended from ancient kingdom.>>He was a descendant of an ancient kingdom. Final state was called \'OH\'. >>CORRECT! >>The final state was called \'Oh\'. OH\'s presiedent is Songwon. >>Oh\'s president was Songwon. He is righteous. >>CORRECT! Navy of OH is stronger than other state\'s navy. >>The navy of Oh was stronger than any other state\'s navy. Because Big river was existed around of OH. >>A large river exists around Oh. So They are trained well. >>They are trained well.Those presidents are died. >>Those presidents are dead. But each of Their Sons keep alive. >>But their sons are still alive.Jobi of WI makes unified state as a result.>>Jobi ogf Wi made a unified state. Too many character was appeared in this story. >>Too many characters appeared in this story. So, I don\'t remember all of the character. >>So, I don\'t remember all of the characters. >>I don\'t remember all of them.I want more talk about it ,but this space is fulled. >>I want to talk more about it but the space is already full. I talk to you reamin story later >>I will talk to you about the remainder of the story later.

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